Soul food for thought

Secret of Mana: Orgasm for the soul

2006-08-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

It was Spring Break in 1993 and I was away from my 6th grade elementary class for what would be a monumental week in my life.

I had borrowed Secret of Mana by SquareSoft from my friend. A game I had been dying to play since its release. My fingers trembled. My heart was pulsating and heavy as a tribal drum. I slid the game cartridge into the SNES slot and slid the power switch forward. My cable TV reception quickly re-synchronized to show the opening graphic (SquareSoft) accompanied by an ambient background noise of what sounded like a blue whale. It was a soft soothing intro that acted as brakes for my still heavy pumping heart. When the graphic faded to black, there was a brief second of anticipation on my part. Finally the game’s main title graphic faded up onto the screen with a melodious piano ballad. It was a solo with beautifully blended keynotes in the high range. A synthesized music orchestra soon followed to create the official theme song for Secret of Mana. The graphics on the page expanded to show our 3 heroes standing by a pond on what appeared to be a large tree root looking into a forest as the prologue for the game scrolls underneath. As much as I wanted to press start on my controller, the spectacle on my TV screen could not be ignored. Watching those pink birds fly through the screen was worth the wait!

The story revolves around 3 young protagonists who come together by fate and, through a mutual bond, go on a quest to help the world regain its strength. Much of the plot line deals with today’s sad issues such as child abandonment/adoption, child – parent enmity, seclusion, inequality, acceptance, corruption and a few more issues that are prevalent in our own society. But like our lives, the 3 individuals keep their minds and heart in focus as they press on to help restore the world’s vital signs. Each character has an internal and external struggle that they learn to cope with.

At the time I started playing the game, I just played the game for what it was. Only now 13 years later, my over analytical self wants to live up to his name and really look at the storyline of Secret of Mana. The game in its fantastical semblance can teach us the importance of overcoming our shortcomings. We may or may not experience the magnitude of events the 3 protagonists did. However, an event we plummet into will send a feeling that just tugs at our heart’s ventricles until the pain turns to numbness and we eventually lose our focal point on the situation that is troubling us. Whatever happens to us we must always be optimistic and look for guidance. With enough time and help we will walk on stable ground and be able to carry on until the next of life’s incidents occur.
We are human beings so making mistakes is as natural as opening a jar of coffee. We will have many disquieting times in our lives but just remember that when you fall into a pit, there is usually a way out. Use your mind to help you out. It is there for a reason. We are the most intelligent conscious beings on the planet so let’s make ourselves proud of that label!

No matter how bad things can get, just remember it can always get worse. And that is NO secret of mana.

Others sin. Others kin ~ Part II ~ Spirituality : Birth of a savior

2006-07-31T00:29:00.000-07:00

Religion is defined as the “belief in the existence of a superhuman controlling power.” The definition goes on to describe the 8-letter word as a system of worship. The word Spirituality refers to the human spirit or soul. Most of us know what this word means and can extend its definition with words of our choice. I will say that Spirituality is finding more about yourself and the world around you. It is more than just discovering and experiencing what you can see but also what you cannot see. What sets spirituality apart from religion is that there is no central figurehead of worship, there are no guidelines to follow and you become your own superhuman by starting off as an ignorant selfish creature to, through a lifetime of both rational and empirical experiences, a strong powerful all knowing individual. Whether you choose to follow God or yourself, you create a destine path that you can look back on and either smile or frown.

We have all come to know at least the names of some of the world’s largest organized religions such as Christianity, Catholicism, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism among others. Our ears may have burned at the sound of some of the lesser religions such as Wicca, Kabala, Paganism, Satanism and more (you can google the term “other religions”). There are lots out there. Some with cross-referential teachings and words of wisdom while also challenging the others’ messages. For example, almost all religions preach love as one of their highest fundamental teachings and most criticize evil as the top temptation to relinquish. However you view religions, they are all here to stay no matter how many wars are currently or will be fought in their name.

My parents who are practicing Hindus raised me to be religious. They taught me all about how the world was created, how our Gods and Goddesses work, our fundamental messages, how to see and interpret life and of course Karma. In case you did not know, Karma is from the Hindu religion and its purpose is to guide our lives. It is basically our own mini God. It follows us through the course of our life taking note of our actions and judging them accordingly. What we have done in our lifetime (both positive & negative) will have a profound effect on our next lifetime. If we have done wrong and/or have not fulfilled our Karma’s criteria, we will be reincarnated at some point again in the stream of life. If we have fulfilled our Karma’s criteria then we become liberated and that means our soul becomes free and we never return to the corporeal coil.

Karma is not a third party. It is with us. It is part of us. We work with it. If you do things that constitute an evil intent such as anything that involves criminal activity then it will come around back to you in the next life. For example: You are a serial home invader. You bound and torture your victims while you rob them blind. You go to jail and never learn from your errs. When your time passes, you will come back at some point where you will fall victim to a crime. Not so much the very same crime you committed but rather you will feel victimized like those you victimized. You do not even have to experience this in human form. Reincarnation is not always human-to-human. It can be human to animal. And yes you can still feel victimized even as an animal. Karma is not there to re-enact your actions exactly but it is there to reflect the meaning of your actions back to you. I believe in Karma. I use it as a baseline for my spirituality.

Although I will never forget or refute my religious roots, I have taken a small step away from organized religion and into a more spiritual plain. The reason I made that change was to just breakaway from all the rules and regulations that an organized religion entails and into the world of spirituality where I could create my own path with my own guidelines and incentives for spiritual success. And so far it has worked. I felt better. I have become more comfortable because I mentally wrote up my own set of rules which I knew I could live up to. I knew that since I am only pleasing myself, the whole process would be easier and thus more satisfying. That is not to say I lead a selfish existence. Granted we are human beings who MUST lead a selfish life in order to survive, part of my spiritual rules involve basic fundamental rules that all religions preach such as love and respect for all, serving all and some others. I will spare you the long details on that.

I can thank spirituality over religion for guiding my life safely thus far. It has made my journey to find myself easier. It has made my journey to understand both the physical and metaphysical world more fun. I firmly believe that there is more to life than what we see and through dreams I can feel it to be true. I see life as a test for us. I see it as one large experience. I can only hope that when I pass on, there will be another world to explore. Another experience to partake in. Be it mortal or immortal: Another life to live.

~ And by the way: Wake me when my life ends ~

Part III to come shortly where I will finally talk about Otherkin. I am in no way affiliated with it. It is just something that came across my Internet travels and I feel compelled to talk about it as it does parallel my general beliefs toward spirituality.

Others sin. Others kin ~ Part I - How the Internet Makes Self-Expression Easier

2006-07-15T23:58:00.000-07:00

The wonderful thing about the Internet nowadays is that it is everywhere. We can access it from any place at any time. And by any place I mean any place. With wireless systems all over the land now, logging on to our favourite websites has never been easier

The ease and affordability of the Internet has come along away. Seems anyone can now afford the $9.95 minimum subscription price to receive the Net in his or her household. The more people that subscribe, the more of them would actually use the net to upload their data be it photographs, videos, artwork, reviews or blogs that go on and on without getting to the point. What I’m getting at is almost ANYTHING can be found on the Internet no matter how stupid, no matter how cool, no matter how out there it may be, chances are you will find it somewhere on the net. It has become another dimension and the link from our world to its world is through a wormhole alternatively called a modem.

There would be times that I would be at work, at school, preparing a meal, whatever and sometimes the stupidest thoughts and ideas would dawn on me. Ideas that I presumed no other individual could possibly think about. My natural follow up instinct was to go online and see if there were others who shared in my “belief”. Much to my surprise there were people who did. Not just a few mind you, but a whole entire web forum worth of individuals would discuss this idea I had while beating eggs in a bowl. The only logical conclusion I can derive from all this is that maybe we are not so different from one another. We try to separate our identities but deep down at our most intimate levels, we actually think like others no matter how bizarre it may be. We can find compatibility with strangers from another country whom we have never even met. Hell, we don’t even have to know their names. As long as a common bond if formed, usually an acquaintanceship follows. And all because we met each other in another world. Kind of neat when you really think about it. It’s all I do with my recent spare time anyway so don’t act so surprised when you read this knowing who the author is and where he comes from. You have read my other blogs right???

This leads to the area of focus for this ever-stretching blog. It’s about a large group of people who have a spiritual belief. A belief that provides them with strength, confidence, optimism, perseverance…well you get the picture. It parallels any mainstream or even unconventional religion out there by emphasizing good over evil, and loving all life though it doesn’t rely on very many teachings from wise figureheads of spirituality. Rather it focuses on one’s own self. This spiritual belief theology is called Otherkin and the individuals who associate with this term believe in one thing: That either they are the re-incarnation of an animal and/or the spirit of an animal resides within them. This belief stretches beyond the mortal coil for some believe they are mythical beasts such as dragons and vampires trapped in human bodies. What do I think of this profound numinous principle? Stay tuned for Part II.

Patriotism vs. Posertriotism

2006-07-11T22:18:00.000-07:00

On July 1, 2006, Canada turned another year older. I was in Kelowna that day. It was hot, crowded and overall, not the greatest day to feel Canadian.

Kelowna hosts a myriad of Canada Day events that run the course of day and through the evening including a fireworks display above Lake Okanagan. The day went along pretty well. It wasn't until the evening when I saw some pretty disgusting behaviour from a lot of my fellow Canadians all in the name of love for their country.

Me and my friends mananged to get a decent spot on the waterfront to view the fireworks. We hoped for a decent show but that was soon overrun by sounds louder than any fireworks. What we heard were vulgarities, loud screams, drunken rambles, among other non sensicle sounds. The crowd grew bigger and bigger till we were enveloped. It was very shocking to see because their were little kids in the area with their families who wanted nothing more than to just see the fireworks, not breathe in alcoholic pollution.

You can leave it to drugs and alcohol to turn any event into a complete messfest. Listening to the crowd, I heard talks of fights, drug deals, and other lewd comments from the same people who were shouting "Canada rules" moments before. I just shook my head and wanted to leave but figured I atleast watch the fireworks first since I was there and claimed a good spot. Well after 30 some minutes of standing, the fireworks came and much to my surprise, a lot of people were not looking at them. It really made me wonder what their intentions were in the first place. As soon the fireworks were done, we took off and took off for good.

At this point, you're probably wondering where I'm going with this and I will tell you. What really got to me was the number of people who simply used that occasion just to get drunk and rowdy. I am not overly bothered by public drunkeness but there's something about it happening on Canada Day that bothers me. Probably because I find it doubtful that most of the people that I saw that night actually do their part for Canada. I don't mean mandatory things like taxes and the like. I mean volunteering your time to make Canada a wonderful place by helping it or even your fellow citizens. Plant a tree atleast? Help a stranger even? But if getting drunk on Canada Day preaching "Canada rules" is all you do for your country then I'm inclined to believe you're not fully patriotic. We should use Canada day to remember all the brave people who died before and during Canada was in its incubation period.

I don't want to sound like a whiner but what I saw that day was revolting. It made feel ashamed to be Canadian. One thing I didn't want to mention until now was the aftermath. When me and my friends decided to leave, so did many many other people: families, senior couples, and others who were disgusted as much as me. I vividly remember one older gentleman infront of me holding a very young child saying "Don't worry. Grampa's got you...grampa's got you," as drunken wails peirced the night sky. The further we got away, the quieter the city became. Once we got to our hotel room, we concocted a Rum & Coke for ourselves, did a toast to Canada and called it a night.

That whole entire experience led to my creation of the word "Posertriotism" which is someone who thinks they are a die hard patriot but is actually a poser who spouts one lined diluted cliches. They entice others to follow which creates "Band wagon posertriots" who and multiply etc.

Canada is just a small part of the Earth. It doesn't matter what country you think is the best. It all belongs to something greater anyway. But hey, I'm just looking at the big picture.

Sprout like a blade of grass

2006-07-08T22:51:00.000-07:00

I am back again. Did any of you spammers miss me? Probably did. Did any of you legitimate blog surfers miss me? Probably not. There are thousands upon thousands of other blogs out there. Why would you possibly care about mine? Why even bookmark it and keep checking up on it over the months? My last post was long long ago and I didn't think I would ever come back but I am glad I have. I did not come back just to keep up with this blog thing but rather to use it to ignite my passion which is to write. Writing to me is my way of self-expression.

Some like to commit crimes, others like to party but I perfer 2 things: My pen and paper. Initially I would just write/type on my computer but rather than just write on Microsoft Word and keep it shackled in the "My Documents" folder on my computer, I figure I just put it up on blogspot. I am not doing it for any of you but for my selfish being. I just find a level of amusement posting my thoughts onto this almost unlimiting canvas. I write as I think so each post encapsulates a series of thoughts and emotions that were orbiting my mind at the time of write up.

I go down my list of blogs and read them and can't help but chuckle because as time went on, I gradually forgot about my posts but upon re-reading them months later, the same thoughts and emotions light up within me and I just blurt out "Wow I said that? It's so true." So all in all, through much thinking, I have decided to return here and write up some more quips. How long will this stay be? Hmm...let's just say it all depends on when carpol tunnel syndrome sets in.

What drives you?

2005-11-12T22:37:00.000-08:00

Since I started going back to school, I know commute 35km to school and another 35km back home. That's 70km/day of driving alone. That's 350km/week! And I've seen many questionable things on the road that send my mind spiraling into madness. All it takes is one mistake. ONE mistake to regret. One mistake: impossible to rectify.

So what am I referring to? I am referring to the way people drive on the roads nowadays. There are many topics to cover and I go on forever talking about how most people simply can't operate a vehicle. They may know how to physically to do it but they can't mentally operate it. There are many issues to discuss so I'll keep them separate.

First thing I notice are people's fetish to find a open and then gunning it. Doesn't matter what time of the day it is, when people find an opening on the road, they just seem to have an adrenaline surge and when they hit an opening, they'll fly up to 20km/h over the speed limit. Speed limits are there for a reason. The roads were engineered in a particular way they knew the exact kind of landscape they were dealing with they constructed them and posted those speed limits. It's one thing to seize an opening in traffic for yourself by why do you feel it so necessary to suddenly speed up past the speed limit? Way past the limit?

Tailgating is another trend I've noticed particularly with larger vehicles. Why do you feel it so necessary to almost fondle bumpers with the person in front you? Who the hell gave you right? What compells you to take on an "authoritive" stance by tailing the individual until all he/she can see in their rearview is your vehicle taking up the whole space? Everyone is different. Some will speed up because they feel imtimidated, others will slow down to purposely piss the tailgater off and some may even panic and lose control and god knows what happens next. I have a question for you tailgaters out there. Have you ever stopped to think even for a second if the person in front of you has to make a sudden stop? Have you ever thought about the consequences that may arise because you were too ignorant to keep 2 seconds behind them? You're still gonna get to where your going only in one piece. Just remember it only takes one mistake to cause a lifetime of regret.

Another thing I've noticed but this is a little more minor is passing. Passing is perfectly fine with me but people are so damn aggressive that they'll pass even with the smallest available gaps. Yes, I am referring to cutting in front of other drivers just so you can shave a few seconds of your journey to where ever the hell you're going. I've had so many instances where someone would cut in front of me that then brake hard because there was traffic up ahead. Well now I have less time to react because the gap between me and the car in front of me has narrowed siginifcantly thanks to some jackoff who thought by forcing his way into my lane would get him/her to their destination faster. And you know what the topping is on this guano cake is? They merged into the slow lane. The lane we now share is frozen and the lane they got off of is moving. They didn't seem to progress in their aggressive goal of going somewhere. They were thinking with every part of their body but their head. Alternatively, a car behind me will merge into the lane over and get in front of me and then merge in front of me. My question is why? Why not just continue in the lane you merged onto? There are no exits anytime soon. You're not turning left or right on any upcoming streets so what gives? I'm not going much slower than you are?

Signs. People really need to obey and look at traffic signs. They're not just there for decorations. They tell you what the fuck you're supposed to me doing. One thing people really need to be aware of is when NOT to stop. If there is no stop sign, then don't stop unless absolutely necessary. If you stop even to be safe, the person behind you will may not have your line of thinking. And before you know it BANG! Only takes a split second. Ever had a life turnover pastry with blood frosting?

I see this shit everyday and even though I'm used to seeing it so much, I still get mad. Why do I still get so frustrated even though I see this 350km/week? Simply because many innocent people die everyday due to someone's negligence. I don't call them accidents anymore. Never will. They are just so bad, I can't even consider them an accident. I call them a collision brought on my ignorance and negligence. One thing everyone has to know is driving is NOT a right. It is a privelege. You have to earn your privilege to operate 3000lbs of metal. Don't even think for a second that being stripped of your license by shit you brought on yourself is BS. You cause an accident through sheer negligence, then you shouldn't drive period. Leave the streets for the people who know how to operate a vehicle and can handle the environment and conditions in a safe courteous manner.

People are selfish. Let's face it. They way people react on the road represents who they are in person. People rush, people panic, people get uptight. I myself do but never bring the emotions on myself just when I see people acting so stupid. Let me ask you people this: Why can't you people just time yourselves better? Why can't you space your days out better? Why can't you plan what you're doing more effieciently so you don't find yourself going 30km/h over the speed limit just to be late anyway for your intended destination? If you know you're going to be late, then why speed all the way there for the same result? Wouldn't it make more sense to phone the party up and just let them know? Hell, for starters, you can just wake up early (assuming you're going to work). Wake up early, give yourself plenty of time. You know you're gonna be hitting rush hour, so leave earlier to make up for time lost sitting in traffic. And for God's sake, think! THINK! I can't stress that enough. You may be good at your job, but can't you be a good human being? Can't you relax in between stress outs? So many questions but how many answers will I get? It's like arguing with a mirror. You can yell at it all you want but will you ever get a response. No. Just some person looking back at you with a blank stare.

To people who lost loves ones who were innocent victims in car accidents, my heart goest out to you. And to those you who changed your aggressive ways, my appreciation goes out to you. Way to go! To those with aggressive ways who will never change just remember it only takes one mistake to be un-rectifiable. One mistake that'll cost 2 lives. Theirs and yours. One mistake is all it takes. Think about it...if you have time of course.

Us vs. Us vs. Gaia

2005-10-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well. It's been a month since my last entry and since I have something to discuss, I might as well show my face around here.

Another natural disaster has surfaced in the world. The Earthquake on the Pakistan, India border in which 30,000+ people were killed. Another disaster which has wreaked havoc and devistation to a land unprepared for its coming. Yes I'm preaching the obvious so I'll cut out the bullshit. Basically what we seem to have hear is a struggle for survival. Not on our part. It seems that the Earth has had enough of our primitive savage ways and has decided to retaliate. It gave us food, it gave us water, gave us life. It gave us everything we could ever dream of and how do we thank that which brought forth our lives? We desecrate it, we hurt it, we rape it. We litterally spit on our very own land that provided susistence for our species as well as many others to survive for millions of years. Now recently there has been so much chaos around the globe. Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Floods, Fires, Heatwaves, all in a short timespan. The Earth is fantastic at giving cheap shots. We are so busy focused on our own selfish lives taking it for granted as much as we can and then BOOM! It all gets turned upside down and you feel like a newborn baby all over again.

Has the earth decided to let off some "steam"? Did it hold off its anger for so long and finally decided to relax? It would seem so. Quakes are caused by the relief of stress caused by tectonic plates pushing against each other. And the strange weather patterns causing floods in New Orleans and Guatemala. Granted New Orleans levy's broke but I still find it a very interesting sequence of events. New Orleans is a very famous town. Rich in heritage, culture and of course Mardi Gras. A tourist hotspot yet what was never really publicized until after the massacre was the fact that it was a very poor town (1/3 of the total population was below the poverty line). In fact, the city borrowed from other cities to keep the New Orleans Saints within their city limits.

Do I believe what I'm writing here? Sorta. Might sound a little far fetched but when you really think about it and analyze all the situations, it really makes you think that the Earth is getting pissed at us and what it gave us the over the course of a year is a mere sigh. What'll happen when the Earth gets mad? Sounds to me like we're sure pissing a god off right now and I don't mean who you're thinking about. I mean a god of a different nature. One made of soil, water, air, wind and fire. One that encompasses many features a "human god" would and some that differ. But all in all this god (Let's just call it uhhh GAIA) gave us life for years upon years upon years and how have we repaid her kindness? We thrive to destroy ourselves and have no regrets taking GAIA with us. We live selfish existences fueled by greed, envy, anger, lust etc. Not all of us mind you. Many of us (myself included) wish to stray away from this kind of existence but it's very hard to swim against the current. So hard that you give up and let it take you somwhere. At first you don't know where because you can't understand. And when you finally do, you can control yourself downstream but you can never really stray away from the current because it's just not logically possible right now.

We shall see who will win in our war. Us, Us, or GAIA. I'm not rooting for anyone personally. I'm still stuck in the current and can't even move right now. Give me 2 years.

Disneyland: My Garden of Eden

2005-09-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

On Aug. 28/05, I packed up my belongings and fled the country. Strictly voluntary as I was finally able to go on vacation and leave my life as it stood behind me. As I boarded the plane at Vancouver Airport (YVR), at 7:00am the last thing I said to myself was "Fuck my life, I'm going on vacation!!" As the plane took off so did 90% of my innerds. Pretty much who I was in this life no longer existed. That part of me was shackled in Coquitlam. Parts near my home, near my work, near everything that I've been attached to as of late. I felt weightless as the plane sped down the runway and finally took off. As we elevated above the clouds, I felt that I was finally free. To use the saturated cliche, "Free as a bird" applied to my scenario. I had no worries. No bothers. All the stress flushed out of me like a mere drop of moisture. To use another cliche. I felt more alive than ever before.

The first day I arrived at Disneyland, I just stood there in awe looking up at the towering castle in its myriad of colours. My neck was held high while my jaw was down low. I just stood there and relied on all my senses to help guide me through this surge I felt throughout my body. I saw it, I heard it, I smelled it and I touched it and I felt exactly like I did back in 1988 when I first visited the park. Despite the length between visits, I felt like a little child again. And all the characteristics of a child were expressed in my 23 year old self. I ran around, I got excited. I could just not be tamed. I was overwhelmed by what I saw. I didn't just see it. I felt it and it felt me. We became part of each other. It tapped into my sub-conscious and released my soul. My hard shell cracked and my real being emerged on that day and remained until I had to board the plane at LAX to leave for Vancouver.

But let me tell you that mere words cannot express the amount of enjoyment I had while at Disneyland. I had a 3 day pass and spent 12hours each day there and still wasn't enough. I never got bored. The rides, the shows, the shops all kept me going. I didn't eat properly, didn't use the bathroom properly but none of that mattered. I felt like I had no body. I was enjoying myself so much that nothing else mattered. School, work, Vancouver. None of that mattered. I felt like I finally came home.

It was more than just buildings and characters. Disneyland created an atomsphere. They created a utopia. A clean safe environment for everyone. Once you pass the wrought iron bars and silver plated turnstiles, you transcend into another world. I experienced no problems when I was there. Everything was literally perfect. Despite heavy human traffic there were no issues arising from that. Many nice courteous people. It all just fit together so well that it was almost unreal.

It was then that it finally dawned on me. I found my Garden of Eden. A fortifed place smack dab on Earth. A place one can retreat to to escape their personal Hell. Disneyland brings magic and imagination to life and it's unrivaled anywhere in the world IMO. Day 1 of my 3 day visit to the park was an awesome experience. It felt like I had died and resorted back to a innocent carefree spirit free to roam around and play with magic. I felt liberated. I felt like I finally belonged somwhere. Disneyland really is Heaven on Earth. I admit that I don't like much in the world but Disneyland is a place I love. As soon as I enter, I dump all my stress, forget all my problems and just have as much fun as I possibly could before leaving.

Leaving the park was heartbreaking. Never again would I experience the sights, sounds, aromas, and ambience this place provided. Never again would I go through the blazing twists of space mountain or get squirted by the Mad Hatter. Leaving the park on the final day was like saying goodbye to Heaven because the doctors managed to resucitate you after you already passed. You had a small taste of paradise but now have to return to your everday existence. I loved Disneyland because everyday wasn't the same thing. They had random parades, shows, character appearances etc. Everyday was different and that's what made the whole experience fresh. But leaving knowing I had to go to school and work for the next couple of years was a real downer. I didn't wanna do that. I wanted to spend the rest of my life in Eden. I belonged there. We felt each other. I can't explain in words and grammar how compatible we were. It fed me everything I truly desired in life and more. Those 3 days of my life were quite possibly the best thus far. You'll never experience it the way I did but I can't emphasize how much I belonged there as part of the Garden. It was a utopia which I would sell every one of my possesions to be a part of. Everything I ever desired in life can be found there. And for that I will miss it dearly.

This "Garden of Eden" kinda gave me a new outlook on life. I hope that when I die, I will wake up in a place like this but with more energy. To ditch my stress, pain, and suffering forever. To permanently crack my hard protective shell and once again roam the plains as that free spirited form of essence which I used to be long ago. Thank you Disneyland! You are my Garden of Eden and I thank you for all you did to help me!

What is mind? Doesn't matter. What is matter? Never mind.

2005-08-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

We all believe that we were created from some extreme force like God or through the complex stages of evolution. But how does one tackle the mind-body problem that many argue over? Three dominant theories still remain for this interesting argument: Dualism (mind separate from body), Idealism (physical matter is derivative from mental thought) and Materialism (mind is physical part of whole body). These are all plausible arguments but only Dualism is the most deep in the sense that it deals with two separate “entities” that work together to secure life for a sentient being.

The brain is defined as a soft lump of tissue found in the head and acts as the central area of the nervous system. The mind however is defined as the ability to be aware, to think and reason. It is my belief that the brain is the physical part of the body but the mind is not. The brain serves to encapsulate the mind and send “messages” (stimuli) throughout the rest of the body. When we sit down at a desk and think, it is our mind that is being kept busy with hundreds of thoughts. It is our mind that gives us a response to our questions. Basically, we send a question to the brain which opens a kind of doorway to let the mind answer it. This is commonly known as critical thinking which is a huge part of philosophy as well as other disciplines. When the mind has an answer, it sends it back to the physical brain. That is the moment when we usually “have an answer” to our question.

We need to sleep to allow the brain to rest as it provides us with our daily rituals. The mind does not sleep however for it is not a physical thing. When the brain shuts off, the mind is able to break free from the physical casing (that is the brain) and charge our bodies. This is alternatively called dreaming. The mind is so full of unstable energy that it projects anything that it contained outwards into the body of the being. When some of us get stressed at our jobs, we tend to dream about being at our jobs getting the same treatment as in real life. The mind is also so unstable that we have dreams within dreams. This is usually rare but it does happen. Through this theory, recurring dreams are the result of the mind stuck on one particular event. The energy is amplifying or dissipating. It is constant and unchanging. Lucid dreaming is the most interesting for it is when we take control of our dreams. This is the result of our brain partially conscious. Even with moderate awareness, our brain is able to instantly take control of the dreaming sequence. The result is being able to do what we want when we want it. Once the brain is fully awake, it immediately captures the mind in its soft casing until it shuts off the next day and off guard.

Without consistent dreaming though, the mental mind will take over the physical brain causing severe alterations in our body. The dualism theory best fits here as well. What happens is that the lack of dreaming results in mental energy becoming more intense and unstable. Without nightly filtering (dreaming) of this energy, it grows immense until the physical brain can no longer hold it. Within time, the brain collapses allowing the burst of mental energy to escape and take control of the body. That is why “crazy” people are delusional, delirious and uncontrollable. They live in their own world. They pronounce strange messages and sometimes perform self-mutilation. No one outside of their mental conscious understands their behaviour. Although the mind and body work together all the time, they are still separate for both cannot coincide without the moderator that is the physical brain. (The brain connects all three together).
It should not be regarded as foolish to believe that the mind and the body are two separate things. What it comes down to is that we are each a God. The mind is like a god because it creates a life for the body from birth. It sets desires for the body (hunger, fatigue) which are carried out. If we fail to follow our mind’s command, then our body would be harmed. That is not to say that we are a slave to our mind. Hunger and Fatigue are a fundamental importance to all life so the mind instinctively tells us to eat or sleep. Because the mind is capable of so much, it could be regarded as a God: An omnipotent force that controls a life form. It is full of energy and it is able to take us to far away places. It also allows for creativity, ingenuity, efficiency and even flamboyancy.

My belief in dualism is closely related to Plato’s that the mind is created when the soul enters the body. The mind acts on behalf of the soul. When the body passes, so does the mind. After which, the soul exits the body and joins other spirits somewhere. There is a 95% resemblance between my belief and his. The differences are small. Firstly, I just replace the word “soul” with “unstable energy”. Secondly, I believe that this unstable energy is active all the time. It is not dormant during the course of the body’s lifespan.

My viewpoints and reasons may sound far-fetched by I firmly believe that there is more to life than the physical world. The dualism theory makes life more complex, diverse and interesting. Why live in a two-dimensional materialist world when we can explore a three-dimensional existence full of questions that must be answered. The idealist approach falls short of my acceptance because there is too much dealing with one God. The dualist approach also strikes me as being the one that involves our minds the most. It allows us to critically think and to provide deductive logic and reasoning. Life is full of questions and whether or not we can agree on the mind-body problem remains to be etched in centuries of arguments.

"Time" to read this post

2005-08-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Oxford's Dictionary defines Time as "All the years of the past, present and future." But I've gathered many observations about Time over the years and figure now is a better TIME than any to jot em down and let you know what I think about at night besides the opposite sex.

Sure time is all around us. It's there when we wake up, when we go to sleep and even those times when you wake up during the night to have an extra piece of cake or blast an extra dookie but have you ever just stopped your routine and asked yourself does time really exist outside of the human world? Is there physical evidence that suggests that seconds, minutes, hours etc. are a real entity? Other than dawn and dusk, there really is no proof that time exists outside of our intelligent world.

Animals rely on a biological clock that helps them out in their life cycle. They just know through instinct and their environment/climate when to eat hearty, mate, sleep more, mate again etc. Their cycle repeats but they don't rely on physical numbers and days to help them get by.

I obviously know that the calender system was created to bring order into the world and it did succeed but at the same time there's chaos especially in our modern developed world. I've had many people tell me the following:

How they wish they could "stop time" because they're so happy now
How they wish they could "fast forward time" because they're distraught or upset now
How they wish they could "rewind time" because they regret a move they made
Or...
How they wish that time "never existed" because they are tired of their routine

I found the last one to be very interesting because our society is very demanding right now. There's inflation, escalated cost of living and just the abundant rip off here and there that force many individuals to work long hours and sleep short hours. Every individual should average 8hours atleast a night but how many can actually admit they got that many? Though time was created to bring order into the world, it also brings chaos to millions and millions of people including students, young people entering the workforce (15-29). Those who don't like their jobs or those who work many hours a week/odd inconsistent shifts and others who just live busy lives. Time becomes our enemy. It can squeeze the life out of us. For some there never seems to be enough time to get everything done in a day let alone a week. 24 hours just isn't enough to get the chores done. 7 days just isn't enough to get the work done. 1 month just isn't enough to pay the bills. The more reponsiblilties you take on yourself, it feels like another stick of dynamite is strapped to you and you gotta cross a bridge in a certain amount of time. Now here you have 2 options. Either cross the bridge in time to "make the dropoff" or simply throw all the dynamite over the bridge and just run across empty. Doing the latter will more likely kill you faster than the former. I would suggest balancing everything. Prioritize. Drop off the bigger sticks of dynamite first and work your way downward.

One thing I do know that revolves around time is the velocity of light. According to http://unmuseum.mus.pa.us/speed.htm light travels at a speed of 186,000 miles a second. So from light to travel from the sun to the earth takes 8.5 min. So in theory, I can stand on top of the sun with a very powerful telescope that can see all the way to a specific point on Earth. Let's say my rooftop. I can get a friend to stand on my rooftop and I would look at that point in my telescope. But I would not be able to see him until 8.5 min as elapsed because light as not yet hit the specified area. So basically after the 8.5 min, i would see a figure materialize from out of nowhere. So I can techically say I saw 8.5 min into the future. Granted some of you think "that's obviously never gonna happen" and others of you are scratching your head and probably picking your nose and thinking "What the fuck is this guy talking about??" But it is true. The speed of light remains constant.

Time is not a book where you flip pages when you start a new day. Time is a continual stream of events. You cannot go back in time because you have no criteria to work with other than what happened that day (assuming you know) and what exact day it is. It's not like flipping a history book to that page. In fact, that is actually your best bet to going back in time because, unlike reality, you can go back and forth through time no problem because they are books. The closest resemblence time as to a book are bookmarks. Basically a bookmark is a memory. A life experience. Be it good or bad, we can recall it vividly and these life changing experiences we accumulate in our lives receive bookmarks. We don't physically say it but we remember some portions of our lives so clearly that essentially that portion of our life has been bookmarked. That's how we go back in time. Just because time constraints us, doesn't mean it's out to get us. I sum it up as this:

It was originally created for order but to many of us it brings chaos. So I consider time organized chaos. An oxymoron that entails a chaotic life brought into a confined space to better manage. It may be hard to get a good grasp of it but it'll never the leave the confines so in "time", you'll be able to get a grab it by the horns.

Do you give head or tail?

2005-08-17T23:28:00.000-07:00

So several months ago at my job, I gave poor service to a mystery shopper. My bosses lectured me and tried to make me feel inadequate. I guess they felt that because I was young, I was therefore "stupid" and "ignorant". Then as the days and weeks progressed, my bosses would constantly be on my case refreshing my memory to give good service. I thought to myself "What will it take to get these @$$holes off my back?" Should I give in to their demands or should I drive myself further away by doing an even worst service job? Well up until last month, my worst fear was confirmed. There I was stocking produce I like have been doing for the last 3 years and there he was: 6 foot 5inches. 305lbs. We exchanged eye contact and he came over to me. I'm thinking "Here we go again." He looked at me, paused and finally said, "Ron you finally got a perfect shop. Way to go!" He then went on a babble followed by some bad jokes that aren't worth repeating for the sake of keeping your mind at ease. But it dawned on me. I unknowingly gave in to their demands and the end result was him trying to befriend me. I actually don't have many friends who weigh over 300lbs and 175 of those lbs are in the buttcheeks. Wouldn't mind a walrus as a friend but not one who could speak fluent english. Getting that perfect shop didn't bother me as it was probably a fluke and I must've been in a rare good mood that day. What bothered me was the idea that instantly penetrated my cerebral cortex. I realized that I was nothing more than a coin to my bosses.

For the sake of this metaphor I'm about to regurgitate, let me start off by saying that I would consider myself a penny. Why a penny you ask? Simply because they are plentiful and foundational. They are cherished by some and disposed of by others. And not to mention a penny is the most flexible single currency unit in the whole system. Well you probably get it now.

All the managers have a 2 sided nature. Whether they're in a good mood or bad mood, it is reflected in their dialouge, their actions and even their gestures. When I did something "bad", I was treated like I didn't know what I was doing but when I did something "good", I was treated like I was top of the game. And since my line of work is dealing with chance a lot of the time since it is a customer service priority job, I just feel like the managers basically flip me. They take a chance on me and flip the coin. Before they flip it, they'll say to themselves "Ron will get a good shop, boost the average percentile of his dept. which will lead me closer to that bonus that I deserve. See now, while i'm in mid-air, depending on velocity and rate of flips, It can be hard to control where I'm gonna land. It's a game of chance. A 50/50 divison I will do well. Basically, you either get what you ask for or you don't. And when a manager sees the other side of the coin. The side he didn't wanna see. He acts on it. He looks at it. Snarls at it. Picks it up, walks on top of it a couple of times before finally pocketing it and trying again later. He realizes what's done is done however if the opposite side he asks for constantly shows up, well the frustration builds up and before you know it, he does something he regrets.

Now lets explore the other side. Lets say it lands on the side they called out. Well the opposite effect happens. Only this time they don't have to say "Please" as many times as before unless their technique spirals downward but for now it's good happy times for them.

But there i am in the middle. A poor defenseless coin. Constantly being touched, smothered, walked on, flipped. A few times last year, I was actually able to control myself during mid-flight. I had a technique of my own. Let them think you're gonna land on their side on the last bounce but throw in one last bounce over onto the "bad" side and really piss them off but that trend stopped cuz I did perform well the last 2 shops. Why did I suddenly decide to make them happy? Well i didn't do it for them. I did it for myself cuz I didn't want to be taken out of the pocket anymore. I wanted to stay in there to be left alone. Never have my head or tail pulled out again by grimey hands and hurled to dizzying heights to come crashing down and have my whole embarassing action judged. I just wanted to stay with my fellow pennies.

100 pennies equals the same as 1 dollar. A single big unit vs. 100 lesser units. Equality? Think about it.

I'm here. Who's rejoicing?

2005-08-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

Well it took a long time but I finally made it. I have embedded my name, and soon my thoughts, onto e-canvas where in time I will etch a masterpiece of creative ingenuity. I will toil and pulverize my wrists mashing away while alphanumeric code magically manifests onto the screen and in time, my blog will be more than just a series of non-sensicle ravings from a loud mouth mal-contempt but each post will represent who I am and what I believe in. Whether or not you agree or disagree with me is beside the point because you will come to understand me. And my secret for making this blog successful will be my brutal honesty. I have nothing to gain and nothing to lose by typing this. If I make one person say "Wow! I never thought of that." Then my job will be complete however that won't be due grounds for me to stop. I'll keep doing what I like doing and that is to write. I've been writing for a very long time. I've written some things that didn't make a lick of sense but it always seemed to find a person who replied with "This is a very intersting take on ..." All it took was that one postive comment out of 15 negatives ones to say "It was worth it."

To close up my first post, let me re-itterate by stating It's not gonna be my mind talking and it's not gonna be my heart either. It's gonna be me. Ron. My soul will do the talking. The wild child I have within me will be your guide to my world. You will be entering more than a world, you'll be entering my mind, my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs. You'll be a part of me. You have entered the Realm and please....enjoy your stay.